Aren’t you glad you don’t have to wake up next to John Malkovich every morning? I am. Remembering that actually helps me fall asleep at night. I know he is a great actor. I used to love him too. He made that awesome plastic gun that could get through metal detectors in “In the Line of Fire,” but nowadays every time I see him I just can’t help thinking how glad I am that I don’t have to see him naked. I don’t even want to draw him – and for me, that is saying a lot. Drawing naked old people is kind of my thing. He is not even that old though. I guess that is what makes him a little creepy to me. Instead of just getting older like he was supposed to, he got really blobby. And every time I see him he looks paler and blobbier. And mean. It has gotten to the point that I can’t even enjoy his new movies. I look away when he is on screen, even his voice is too much. I am obsessed with not seeing him naked. I am so obsessed with not seeing him naked that I think I need to see him naked and just get it over with. Okay so I just googled “John Malkovich naked” and the first image I got was this:
I’ve seen enough. Actually, he looks better than I thought.